would i go? probably i would. because that's what i do. i do things that don't make sense. because they make sense to me. a bit of breaking in my heart has usually done me good. he will set a stage and let things be wonderful. and we will fight some days. and i will think i want to leave and then he will turn soft and we will enjoy the set he built for my visit. we will enjoy a bit of make believe. make believe things are really this way. and we won't let on that we know it's all fleeting. we will play together and tempt each other and comfort each other and then fall apart from each other again. i will meet his family and i might fall in love with them or them with me. we will raise the stakes a little. me, because it is what i do. he, because he holds out hope that i will take his hand and walk with him. but we will do it because it is what we do. i would do it simply for the purpose of keeping a child in him alive for a little bit longer. enjoying him while its possible in case he ever closes to it. keeping the parts of me he roused again awake. it might sound ridiculous to go, but it's more ridiculous to back down against absurdity when there is life to be gained.