i want to have my hands in soft dirt. i want to be outside on the porch when the days and nights get this warm. i want to appreciate nice use of language. i want to let myself walk through whatever i need to walk through. i want to do these things regardless of the rest of it. i just want to do these things.

i don't want to forget about hands in dirt. bare feet. beauty in pain. i don't want to lose touch with allowing the things that want to be allowed. i don't want to feel bad for feeling whatever comes natural. i don't want to lose too much in rules. i want not to ignore the guidance of instinct. i don't want to replace it with anything else. i just want to practice listening.

i want to find a proper balance. i want to enjoy life. i want to learn all i can.