i want a nice little space that is like a fire crackling away in the fireplace in a room that is warm in thought and in light and heat. i want to find more artistic elements in my days. i want to retain freedom even in the things that steal it. i want to lend my freedom to some beautiful little people who will teach me humility and test how irish i am and show me what it is to be alive. i want to not let it all ebb away at my love for all that i love. i want to walk down the aisle. i want all that i have. i am afraid but not of what i have, more of what i have to lose. that is no way to live, but i can't help but grasp sometimes. i have so much..