it feels amazing to be in love. for years i have been in patient anticipation and i am so grateful to have found him. and to have been found.

two days ago we bought our first house together. i have to write about it so that something is recorded so that i never forget a detail. i had seen the house already while he was out of town and i had loved it. when we walked in together, Trucker began pointing out things excitedly. he loved it. i had worried that he would be turned off by how much work it will need or by the pink toilet, sink and tub in the bathroom or the radiator heat. but he just held my hand as we walked through and smiled and grew excitement for it. he loved the original sixties basement with speakers built into the wall, the inset lighting, the old wet bar. he even loved the grungy storage area in the basement. it was like watching a kid open a gift they love on Christmas morning. the night before i could barely sleep feeling that same kind of anticipation. it is a rare thing as an adult that you are so excited about an event that you can't sleep. it was great to see his excitement join with mine. when we had a moment to ourselves in the basement he took my hand and said, 'you did good, baby'. i smiled up at him and fell in love a little bit more.

after walking around the yard and looking at the garage (garage!), we stood on the driveway and i looked at him and said 'so, yes?' and without hesitation he confirmed, 'yes'. we walked around the truck parked in the driveway and i told Sasha, the owner's son (who was handling the sale) that the big boss says yes. we went inside and did up the paperwork. i sat at the old dining table in the dining room, Trucker stood beside me. after we had both signed, i stood up and walked back into the living room as Sasha and Trucker talked about the house a little. i looked around our living room and down the hall at where one day our children's rooms will be. i stood in our future and fought back tears. i felt the life where i was on my own come to an official end. when Trucker joined me in the living room i slipped my arm around him and he pulled me in beside him. this is our house. and it's already filled with love and happiness.