life is not always easy and we don't always get to have what we want when we want it. it is hard learning that and even harder living it. on your own, it is hard enough, but when another person is involved it is all that much more difficult. there has been a rise and fall in the last year that has left my heart wanting to learn more. wanting to do the right things. wanting not to take lightly matters that have a strong (or minor for that matter) cause and effect. it's important to listen to your own instincts. not to push them away. at least that is what i believe and it's all i've got to go on. it's all i know and it is what i gave up a soul mate for. it's so hard to convey to someone why it's so important to you. how much you would hurt yourself by pushing past your instincts. he doesn't know you that well, but you almost believe you wouldn't recover..

and so i will attempt to practise patience and allow life to take whatever course it is meant for. i trust that more than anything else and i truly feel it is all i have.