i got home and my house smelled the way our old house smelled when we'd been away at the cabin. outside it smells sweet and warm and colleen said it would storm. there was just a bit of thunder and i turned on a lamp.

i've been forgetting again and while forgetting is hard and painful, remembering is as sweet as the air outside at midnite before a storm. the weight of it all lifts off and i try to remind myself to remember. are we meant to forget just so that the remembering is sweeter?

life gets complicated and sometimes the reminders are of the hard things. of the times that still to this day you can't attach beauty to because you both forgot too much and you forgot to keep remembering. and just when you can't stomach to go through it again, a kinder word is spoken. and then friends gather between storms to watch a movie on a projector and the large screen is filled with love and it's more real than you would expect off a screen and everyone remembers their own things..

life is full of people as strange and wonderful as ourselves and there are no expectations when we have no expectations. there is only love amidst all the other stuff.

the weekend as i had looked ahead appeared to be ordinary and then i remembered to find a dinner shared with friends and a projection screen and suddenly the air outside and in were unordinary again.